the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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