P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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