Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
