Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize