i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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