wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I met the friendliest cop last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
