she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
