I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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