Plan B is the new Plan A
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
