A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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