I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
How many fucks given?
0.12846
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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