party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize