Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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