she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
