after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
