I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
