Me. At least after what I've been through.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
