It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize