covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
