First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
