the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Also, beer. Big fan.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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