I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize