she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
