no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
