it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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