Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
