I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
