FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
