So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
