I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
