so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Small penises have feelings too.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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