we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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