I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
