I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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