Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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