We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize