No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
