I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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