I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
