Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
