Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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