Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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