This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
