I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
