how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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