We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize