I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
