new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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