I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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