these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
