I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
