He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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