he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
