just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
