So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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