you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
