did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
