by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
