I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
