My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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