There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
