Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
